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Related: Soulja Boy's Home Robbed Amid Beef With Chris!Now, we are learning more about that totaled Lambo, and as it turns out, it was one of Breezy's friends that had been driving the car at the time when he reportedly lost control and crashed it.Dan literally writing himself into their narrative, penning snarky commentary on his relationships with Serena, Blair, et al while playing the innocent nice guy, is a potentially amazing antihero story. Why are you pretending to be shocked when you’re alone in your kitchen?Dan is visibly surprised to read a Gossip Girl update saying that Serena’s looking for a date to the masked ball, and decides to blow off his plans with Vanessa to go and surprise her. The exposed brick doesn’t care that you’re Gossip Girl.Patton has sole physical and legal custody, at least for the time.But the final custody arrangement is where things would get far more complicated: Facts are a difficult thing for Donald Trump to wrap his head around.Remember when Dan had that brief, creepy affair with a teacher at Constance, and Gossip Girl posted the rumor before they even officially hooked up?Admittedly, Dan and Serena had a lot of other issues at this point, but the "hot for teacher" rumor was the final straw.
Maybe Dan decided to pre-empt Serena’s plan out of pure spite, but what kind of a petty asshole would … The blast goes like this: “It seems D and S share a sibling!…How did this show not end with Dan Humphrey being thrown into a volcano?If you're in Chris Brown's entourage right now, well, it was fun while it lasted??Oh, right — because he’s a terrible excuse for a human and has already been pulling that nonsense with Serena for five seasons.Right after ruining the wedding and letting Chuck take the blame, Dan whisks Blair away and Nice Guys her all the way to the airport, presumably cackling under his breath like the supervillain he is.